A recent spate of hotel stays has me thinking about the little things that bother me in hotels these days. When I’m in a hotel, I want an escape! I don’t want to be annoyed. Here’s what’s been bothering me lately. What bothers you?
No clocks: Where are they in hotels? Are we that reliant on our iPhones that hotels don’t need clocks anymore? I find this particularly annoying when I am getting ready before a big day of meetings. I want to keep one eye on the clock as I am ironing, blow-drying, etc. Impossible in a lot of hotel rooms today. Why?
Safes that are small and poorly positioned: If a safe doesn’t fit a laptop these days, what’s the point? I’ve seen some safes that can only fit a wallet and a cell phone. Safes should also be installed at eye level. During my recent hotel stay in Manchester, England the other weekend, the safe was maybe 18 inches off the ground. A pain in the ass. I learned the downsides of low safes the hard way back in Singapore last year; I left one of my camera lenses in the safe and the cost to FedEx it back to me in the US was more than the value of the lens. (So I let the hotel keep it.)
Expensive hotel wine: Hey, sometimes I just want a glass of wine at the end of a long day. If you’re going to charge me $18 USD for a glass of wine, I’m going elsewhere.
Internet I have to pay for: In this day and age, you shouldn’t have to pay for Internet. Okay okay…if you want to do that thing where the 2.5 mbps connection is free and the 25 mbps connection requires payment, I’m okay with that. But don’t make me pay for slow.
No outlets by the bed: When I travel, I’ve got my iPhone, my iPad and multiple cameras that all have batteries that need to be charged. I like to keep everything I’m charging all together so I don’t lose anything. Give me ONE SOCKET by the bed that’s not under a damn nighstand, please!
No bottled water: I just need one bottle. Just one. Generally, I’m okay with drinking tap. But in some countries, I’d prefer not to. I’d really like to have at least one bottle available for free.
Beds that dip: I carted a mattress around the world for nearly 20 years. It was still a perfectly fine mattress when I got rid of it before I moved back to the UK. No dips. Why do hotel beds dip so much? Do elephants stay in hotels and have a lot of sex?
No slippers: I do not like hotel carpet. How frequently do you think they deep-clean hotel carpets? Not often enough, in my opinion. I bring my own flip-flops generally but I appreciate hotel slippers.
No hooks in the bathroom: Sometimes I wonder how other people live. Do you just throw all your sh*t on the floor when you take a shower? I like to hang things up. I need at least one hook. Preferably two.
Shower curtains: I hate shower curtains, particularly in hotels. They always manage to smell like mildew.
No conditioner: I guess hotels cater more to the male business traveler who apparently doesn’t need conditioner. I need conditioner, or otherwise, my hair looks like a rat’s nest. I’ve taken to bringing my own small bottle, but really, I would prefer not to.
Chintzy towels: Hotel towels should be nicer than my towels at home. I must have really good towels because even though I use them daily and wash them twice a week, they are still in excellent shape. What happens to hotel towels that makes them so chintzy??
Unpredictable maid service: Sometimes, you knock on my door at 8 am and want to clean my room. Sometimes, you don’t show up until 4 pm. I would ideally like to live in a world where I know approximately what time maid service will arrive. Is there an app for that?
Pricey hotel laundry: Washing my drawers should not cost me $6. Even $3 is a bit pricey. Hotels should have a washer and dryer available for guest use!
I plan on updating this list frequently. I might even add your contributions! Talk to me people…what bothers you about hotels these days?