Pizza: La Porchetta

141-142 Upper Street
N1 1QY
Tel: 020 7288 2488

Date of Last Visit: Saturday, November 11

The Victims: Bryan, Stacey, Julie

The Damage: 15 quid each

The Background: We were due over at Ross’ Going Away Party (that’s American for "Leaving Do") at 7:30 so we popped into La Porchetta for a quick bite. I was super excited because every time I walk past La Porchetta, it’s really packed and looks fun. And I had a hankering for Italian, so it was perfect.

The Soundtrack: REM’s Automatic for the People, interspersed with Italian pop–at that volume mostly heard out of cars in developing countries, where the music is so loud and the speakers are so poor that a nice song just sounds like crap, and your ears hurt. No one else seemed to be bothered by this but us. We asked for the music to be turned down twice.

The Starters: Fried mozzarella and the mozzarella and tomato salad. They were decent, and were made all the more delicious by their price tag. It was a good value.

The Wine: I love a place that serves table wine. Stacey and I put down a 1/2 liter of red.

The Mains: I went for a fusilli with sausage and broccoli and chillis and garlic and oil. The sausage was good, the broccoli was sparse, and I was insanely jealous of Stacey’s dish and Bryan’s pizza. Julie went for the spaghetti with mussels and it looked nice, but after reading Kitchen Confidential, I’m not eating mussels again until I pick them myself. If I could order all over again, I would. I was not pleased. My meal was boring.

The Service: Indifferent.

The Tap Water Test: Tap water arrived, but it took ages. Everyone else ordered sparkling and I felt cheap.

The Verdict: Eh. But I’d give it another shot.