10 Things I REALLY HATE about Chicago
10. This sign. I hate this sign. It’s everywhere in winter in Chicago. Talk about paranoia. You are going to die! Any second! From an icicle hurtling down from above!
9. Sidewalks of ice. Wednesday morning, on my way into work, I bit it HARD on the ice and found myself face down on the pavement, left knee bleeding, lovely (and not cheap) Wolford tights ruined. I had to turn back home, fix up my knee, say goodbye to my tights (replacing them with vastly inferior M&S tights, which I still love, but they’re just not Wolford), and get to work 30 minutes later than I wanted to be.
8. Khaki trousers on men AND women. Really, everyone. Mix it up a little. For women though really, I really think you should ditch the khakis entirely. You are not a collegiate sports instructor.
7. North Avenue on the weekends between the river and Halsted. Total chaos. Too many cars. Not enough parking. No bike lane. This street is just not wide enough for everyone going to Whole Foods.
6. Down coats. I feel like the Michelin Man. Yes, it keeps me warm. But I look silly. I don’t want to look silly. And try stuffing 20 extra people in down coats into a car on the Blue Line every morning. Ridiculous.
5. Chicago taxi drivers. My grossly unscientific study says 75% of them are on the phone while driving. Do you see me back here? Do you? Because I’m your passenger and your job is to get me from A to B without incident. Don’t act all surprised when I barely give you $1 tip while you’ve been fighting with your ex-girlfriend for the last 10 minutes.
4. Macy’s. And I’m from New York. WTF? I want Fields Days back! Thank God you haven’t taken down the signs, Macy’s, or I’d never step foot inside you again. (But thank you for keeping the Frangos.)
3. Furniture Parking Space People. You know who you are. You dig out your car and put two lawn chairs out with a broom and expect the whole block to stay away. Sorry dude. You snooze, you lose. Next time, buy yourself some karma instead and dig a stranger’s car out too.
2. Potholes. Come on Streets & Sanitation…you could put a hot tub in some of these potholes. I nearly lost my bike seat riding north on Milwaukee back in November when I hit one I couldn’t dodge because of traffic behind me. Thank God for the guys at Bike Lane, who fixed my seat super fast and then told me I didn’t have to pay. (They might make my list of 10 things I REALLY LOVE about Chicago.)
1. The entire month of January. I have forgotten how bitter you are. Coldest month of the year. I cannot wait until you are over. Next year, I will make sure I send myself to Brazil or something in January. Somewhere where I don’t have to wear a down coat or dodge potholes or icicles. Somewhere WARM.
Jan 20, 2011
Bah humbug!
Come springtime however, we will most definitely be checking out Bike Lane. I have a feeling leaving our bikes outside all winter is going to prove to be a foolish mistake…
Jan 20, 2011
Hilarious….
Jan 20, 2011
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by PostGlow, Chris Titley. Chris Titley said: From @kristainlondon 10 Things I REALLY HATE about Chicago: 10. This sign. I hate this sign. It’s everywhere in … http://bit.ly/gKVi7g [...]
Jan 21, 2011
RT @kristainchicago: The 10 reasons why I hate Chicago right now: http://www.passportdelicious.com/dining/...
Jan 21, 2011
I can picture exactly what you mean about the “furniture parking space people” and can laugh about it bc I’ve never had to deal with it. You have to have a LOT of snow, regularly, for that to be a “thing,” I guess.
Jan 21, 2011
@kristainchicago That made me laugh. Thank you:)
Jan 21, 2011
@AndreDang I strive to entertain! Working on anything fun these days? Almost done with all those lovely teas from bloggers banquet last yr!
Jan 22, 2011
@kristainchicago Well, I’m working on a series of pop ups for Harvey Nichols, plus a press trip to Thailand amongst others
Jan 22, 2011
So funny…this made me miss and not miss Chicago all at once. You spend enough Januaries there, you’ll lose all sensible judgment about down coats.
Jan 28, 2011
Ha, spot on! Those stupid “FALLING ICE” signs always make me reflexively look up. So maybe I’m the stupid one.
Here’s to January very nearly being over – although I recall February being a pretty crappy month, too.