56 Essex Rd
Tel: 020 7226 1001
The Victim: Me
The Damage: £4.50
The Background: You might know that I love this machine called the Treadclimber at my gym. It kicks my ass. As the guy in the Nautilus video (see hyperlink) says "It's wicked awesome."
So what better way to reward myself for 45 minutes on the Treadclimber than Tagliatelli Carbonara! If there's an excuse for a heart attack on a plate, the Treadclimber is it.
And you know what I love about this heart attack on a plate at FoodLab? It's CHEAP. It's £3.50. And they put it on a plate and make a heart out of balsamic vinegar. It's so cute. I love it.
But you know what's not cute? The microwave. Now see, if they had done this behind the counter–away from my prying eyes–and brought out the piping hot plate of pasta without me ever seeing the microwave, I would have been totally cool with it. But they totally nuked this beautiful plate of carbonara in front of me. And it made me feel dirty. Cheap.
Because they had microwaved the resealable plastic container, the carbonara sauce was all glumpy, and still, in parts, shaped like the container. This made me sad, because I know these people have a lot of love to give. This was not their best work. I know they can do better.
But let me turn my attention to the decor. It's cute. My mother would like it here. They need some sneezeguards around the cake area. (Sorry. American.) But otherwise, it's very nice and peaceful. I wonder if anyone ever buys the pasta and jars of stuff milling around.
But you know what? They have to stop charging £2 for Diet Coke in a glass bottle. That's a ripoff. Now I know why they can serve carbonara for £3.50. They're making all their money on Diet Coke. This is no way to run a business! I took a Fanta for £1 instead.
The Verdict: Still out. It seemed so promising upon arrival! But I left feeling empty and nuked.